However, by the time I became an adult, I was forced to constantly re-assess what was important to me really and how could I manage it all on my own. I was a young mother and hit life at full-speed. I was naive up until then and did not see the wolves in sheep's clothing that preyed on a girl from the suburbs and therefore I was burned and burned hard. I had to not only finish my college fast to earn degrees needed for a living, but to support and care for my child as well on my own. I did all of that and even married two times. Each time I was married I found myself in a position where I not only made all of the money required to support the household, but I was the caregiver as well on my own. Wow, that sounds like a broken record as my mother would say. But, on my own and young was the reality of it. I was a princess through and through and wanted the best for my children. My father did teach me valuable advice on that though. He taught me that I could be a princess all I wanted-but I should not rely on anyone else for that. Very wise advice. I raise my daughters with that insight.
I had a childhood where both of my parents worked and provided equally to the household. However, my situation was becomming more and more common for my generation. The women out there seemed to be not only giving birth to the children, but the main providers as well as the caregivers. I dove right into the "mini-van, soccer-mom, Super-hero role of most women raising young kids in the 90's. I tried to do it all in the suburbs and on my own! I became burnt-out fast and had to sit down to reasses the whole situation. Around 2003 it was the perfect time to sell my home in the suburbs. I jumped. I had figured out that I would rather my children be raised in the country where I could provide for us from the land if needed. I wanted them to be in an area with less crime and to be kids. I was not impressed with the way people were raising children in the suburbs-they seemed to still be on the materialistic kick of the 80's. I wanted something different and more wholesome for my girls and was prepared to do all in my power for them. I am not condemning the way children are raised in the subburbs or city in any way at all, I just did not want that for my girls.
I currently live on a farm in the foothills of Maine. The snow in winter is deep, the distance between neighbors is very far. They can no longer ride their bikes in the neighborhood under streetlights and gather twently kids for a game. I have to arrange rides with parents. Now, my girls climb trees and collect fire-flies at night to set them free after filling bottles of them and lining the porch with the magic dancing lights. They ride their bikes all over the yard and in the garage and basement (we have a dirt driveway). We gaze in wonder at the lightning storms that surround us in the fields or the northern lights that wave across the sky. We gather frequently by the firepit to roast hotdogs or smoars or anything else we can put on a stick. They camp out as much as they can and can walk for miles out back (with walkie-talkies!). They build forts all around the house and I have to hose them down from their mud treks from their wandering out back. They have good mud and snow boots for their adventures! They know how to stack wood for the woodstove and how to light the woodstove for heat. They help out with their farm chores and have been by my side with the illness or death of an animal. They have had pet dogs, cats, chickens, fish, sheep, llama's and even a pet skunk. They have seen the realities of life and death-I do not believe in sheltering your child from that- for it is real. They have seen a baby lamb born and then die when very young (after an hour after it was born). I told them that when the mother's leave them alone-it is not a good sign. I tried anyway to save that lamb, though in vain. My girls were with me the whole time. They have witnessed the birth of several healty lambs as well. I feel that this is a valuable lesson. I never learned these lessons as a child. I learned most of the harsh realities and beauty of life from PBS and National Geographic and Discovery shows and museaums.
I chose a life on the farm for my girls for those reasons. In doing this I sacrificed my high-paying career for a life more simple and definately happy. I am around for my children. I live on a lot less money than could possibly be imagined in Massachusetts-yet life is pure and wonderful. My children might have second-hand clothes and shoes that need to be duct-taped on occassion (they play hard up here so things are worn out fast in the country) and socks that are mended with love. It is hard to keep up with them on that! But they are never cold, or hungry or lonely. I buy good quaility things as much as possible-not always new. If they work and serve the purpose-I do not care about the brand. I buy the girls wool socks (and make them as well) and if they get a small hole in them-you patch them up! We try to grow as much food as we possibly can and I make sure they learn how to cook it as well. They learn what it takes to put food on the table from the seed to the dish prepared. They certainly know the process it takes from literally the lamb, to the shearing and processing of the wool we do on the farm-to the garmet (hat, socks, scarves, sweaters, scarves) that we make from the wool of our sheep. They watch me spin the wool by the woodstove in the winter and I always have my crocheting bascket with me at their lessons or appointments. Not one moment is wasted on a farm. Not one thing is wasted if you can prevent it. There are not that many stores out here and I shop online to make up for it. But we appreciate all we have. We even feed some table scraps to the Angora rabbits or sheep etc.. I have moved my life from a wastful disposible society to one that cost alot less to maintain-yet is valuable in the lessons learned. I would rather purchase good second-hand clothes that are of good quality than new ones that are poorly made. I will mend them when needed and give them away when outgrown. I would rather have a few good things in the house that are useful than an bunch of new items that will die out and be discarded. I have slowly been replacing my own furniture with antiques-at least I know they will last and still work. We even have a victrola to wind up when we lose the power and an antique 3D viewer with photographs from the Victorian era. We are never bored out here in the wilderness. We fill the house with flowers from our many gardens and mend the screens with thread when the cats rip through them! The saying up here is "if you cant duct it-chuck it!" Meaning if you cannot fix the item with duct tape, throw it away. Up here if you put furniture or items discarded out front someone-will take it. Alot of wise people up here like to "Tinker" or fix things. I try to give it away first since there is always someone who might use it or know how to fix it. I find myself-asking more and more of the depression era genration many useful skills that have been lost to us, that I find we should re-examine. For they never wasted one thing it seemed.
So, all in all, we might live humbly up here, but I think we will definately survive with economy for we honestly know the value of life and each item in it. I love the simple life for it has taught me many valuable lessons and I am more aware of the environment due to it. So, if you see a child with duct-taped shoes or mended clothes-do not feel bad for that child. Just notice that the child is happy, and knows how to really play the way a child should (it could be that the parents are just waiting a few days for their next pay check). Notice the clothes are clean and they have a jump to their step for they do not care when there is love in their lives. They know they have all they need in life given with loving thoughts and prayers. It might not be new and shiny-but it is what they need and provided for them with care. They might have clothes that are lovingly mended my their parents or have learned from them that valuable skill. There is alot more to life than meets the eye and I think that people really should re-evaluate what is precious to them and the true meaning of life. I gladly have sacrificed the materialism of the suburbs and city to a life to precious and meaningful in the country. We have less but we have peace and happiness. Our food is gathered and prepared fresh from our gardens and the hats on our heads made with love with each stitch. Is this the new future? I hope so for I embrace it fully with each loving