So, we all packed up and ran for the hills, literally. It was not always easy living in the country and adapting to life up here in the wilderness as I call it. It took years of hard lessons to become fully emeshed in it and for it to be real. We suffered alot in our huge learning curve and have become better people for it truly. Our farm has become a part of who we are.
Yet, since we are not native to the country, it was hard learning how to make the farm productive enough to support our life-style. We are not elaborate in our living... not one bit. When we first moved up here the prices for food were so cheap we danced to it and happily filled up our grocery carts. Though, far away from any decent paying jobs for all of my work experience and education-nothing was to be found. So, the cost of living caught up with the lack of any decent employement up here. I took jobs comparable in pay etc... to what I had in high school before I went to college and owned my own business. It was all they had up here. That was okay, for I had my farm for extra income. And I also had my novels that I worked hard on since I did not know many people here and it kept my dreams alive and the doldrums away on those many snowbound days.
I first purchased one sheep and then another and soon after, I had my lambs. I brought up two chickens-who caught a frost and died soon after. However, in earnest, I built a chicken coop and stalls in the barn with help from friends and family. Soon, we awoke to the sound of ol' Charlie (our rooster) and the hens chirping away and the sheep baaing in the fields. Life was wonderfull and tranquil. Life taught us many farm lessons that only other farmers can truly appreciate and understand. It healed us and helped us.
However, as I worked full time with little pay and all on my plate began to fill, it made me lose focus. The gardens filled my table with wonderful food and the house with gorgeous and fragrant flowers. The chickens provided eggs and the sheep provided wool that I learned to work with and spin to make warm hats, mittens, blankets and sweaters. This made the Momma in me very proud and content. I have gotten used to barely receiving any help in financial support from my two ex-husbands and took great pride in giving my daughters everything they needed with my own two hands.
I even sold some hats and other crafts that I have made over the years to help with the lack of child support assistance. The amount owed is constanly increasing and they both work-making me believe that-well, what could one believe. It hurts my pride more than my purse. Money-I can make and always have for my girls. I know the law stipulates that child support be paid and mentions a whole lot of alleged circumstances for those who do not pay. Yet, they both know how to work the system as so may others do. It is not the money that hurts. But the pride issue of it all. I am the mother of their children with them in my household. Should they not care that their money supports their own children? I have learned that not all people think that way. With each penny I make-I find a way for it to benifit my children and the farm that we live on. I take pride in giving them a wonderful and happy life with all I have in me to provide well for them. That is okay-I am used to it. I have long since stopped crying over their different thinking patterns in life and major issues.
I have used the farm for our healing and to provide extra income. I have beautiful Icelandic sheep and had great dreams on all I could do with the wool. I worked hard on developing my own style of crocheting the wool after I worked laboriously on preparing it and spinning it. I have advertised the finished products and sold many of them over the years. However, with the economy the way it is-it has caused me (and I know most others) to reasses all of the household expenses. It is with sad regret that I am forced to make a decision to slowly down-size the farm. I have lost focus on my writing (which was my true dream from day one) in order to scrape out a living up here. I have worked super hard in just keeping a normal life up here for my girls and I and have as a result been almost too busy to smell the roses that grow in profusion all around me! I hoped that the farm would provide more support for the household to enable me to work more on my goal of writing and tapering out of the insurance and legal profession I needed to pay the bills with. Yet, living in the country, with just basic survival in this harsh climate-made it tougher for even the day by day things in life
I love my sheep and they are a part of our family. However, it is not making the money needed to require the expense of keeping them. And believe me, due to how ancient their breed is-they are much easier to keep than modern breeds of sheep. If you are interested-I can provide a full write up on that. Maybe, it is partially my fault in not getting out there enough. Mainly, due to the fact of being tired with my long work hours and little pay and degrading jobs provided up here that kill my spirit slowly. I suppose, it is also because I am not the best of sales people for my own products. A confidence issue-that I know for sure. I can sell insurance and I worked in retail many years ago while in college and high school. But, that was for other people's products. I have preferred the animosity of the internet in sales of my own products. It works beautifully for my novels, though with the wool products-not so much....
I have been told that I should hit craft fairs with them in a booth. I did and set my prices fair enough and actually quite low for the economy of the area. Not much was sold to make it worth it to get a booth. I have lowered my prices and have lost my confidence in making more products. The wool unworked-has been sitting in the back room and will pile more when I shear them again in a few weeks.
I know the economy is forcing people to work more hours and earn less money-thankful to be employed. But to constantly price home made farm products lower and even lower is only killing and pushing the small farmer with specialized products out of business. My hats are hand shorn, washed, carded (no machine) and spun (spinning wheel and drop spindle) and crocheted to no pattern-they are all original. Yet, my prices are so low, since people up here who really need them cannot afford them for what they should be marked at. It is driving myself and other farms out of business and losing their only solace in this chaotic world.
I am slowly passing the word about the sale of my sheep-I have seven of them for sale for $500.00. I want them all to go togehter. They are a few years old and produce good wool. I want to make sure they go to a good home-for they deserve it. New lambs of this breed sell for around $300 a piece.
I do not know what else to do at this point. It is hard seeing the possible end of a wonderful era of a peaceful farm. But, it is what it is....I still have my angora rabbits for I am trying to keep hold of some of the fiber farm in a more economic way. I hope that someone with more confidence than I have will be able to provide them with a better home and to make a better run of it all.... :(